Red Bull And Life On Joss' Set - 1/1 NB/JM RPS

[reremouse.livejournal.com]

Bad and wrong and RPS - NB/JM if you squint.

crack!humor




Why couldn't he have landed a role on a normal show about beautiful alcoholics who live on the beach?

Not fucking shows about fucking vampires with fucking weird shit happening on set.

Where Red Bull gave him wings.

Fucking literally.

"Where's James?"

*Jesus Christ.*

"Put me the fuck down, Brendon!"

"Or you'll - what?" Nick cocked his head. "Repair my shoes?"

"That's elves, dipshit."

"What the hell happened to you?" Dave stared and James groaned, flopping limply over Nick's fingers.

He threw himself backward into the curve of Nick's hand and fluttered his wings irritably. "I'm a fucking fairy. Problem?"

---

"Here."

Nick handed him a cigarette as tall as he was.

Lit.

James stared into the smoldering cherry and glared at Nicky over it. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

"What? Traumatic experience. Have a smoke."

"I can't fucking lift it. How'm I supposed to fucking smoke it?"

"Fine. Fine. Throw my friendly gesture back in my face. That's really big of you." Nick lit up, inhaled, and enveloped James in a cloud of smoke. "Oh. No, wait. It actually isn't."

James beat his wings furiously until his back muscles screamed in protest and the air around him cleared. "Fucker."

---

It was a fucking nightmare.

Joss was worse than useless.

He'd collapsed in hysterical giggles while Nick was trying to explain the situation and hadn't been heard from since.

And James had his suspicions about the source of the little cake that had'Eat Me' written in icing that'd been waiting for him in his trailer from the way Tony was wandering around singing -

"One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small..."

Yeah - he had his fucking suspicions.

If anyone had been dabbling in the funny pills around here, it sure as hell wasn't him.