#377 Craigslist Personals - "Wanted" (Law & Order SVU, Fin/Munch, R)

[sidewinder.livejournal.com]

Title: Wanted
Fandom: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Pairing:John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola
Rating: R
Words: 500
Summary: John making Fin's life difficult...as usual.
Disclaimer: All characters property of NBC/Dick Wolf. This story is purely written for fun and not for profit.


“Any luck, detectives?”

“That depends on how you care to define 'luck,'” John waved a handful of computer printouts at Captain Cragen. “There’s a lot of lonely people out there looking to get lucky, and some in extremely creative ways. I’ve got at least twenty here in the Manhattan listings that could be our perp.”

“And I’ve got another thirty-five from Brooklyn,” Fin added. They were working the case of an assailant who’d been using craigslist to troll for gay men seeking anonymous erotic encounters. He posted ads promising kinky sex, but then beat up and stole from the men who responded.

“Thirty-five? Damn. Who knew Brooklyn was so lascivious?” Fin scowled at John, who blithely continued, “Here’s a fun one: ‘thirty-four-m-for-m, buff and blond wants to be your after-work happy hour. Midtown. Blow your load on me before catching the train home. No strings, just your dick, my mouth, I love them hung and hard,'” John read, loud enough to cause some of the other detectives on duty to turn their heads.

“So how we gonna narrow things down?” Fin asked Cragen, trying to ignore his partner.

Before Cragen could answer, John said, “Might require a little footwork or even undercover recon to rule out the harmlessly horny. You want to take this one, Fin? ‘M-for-m, twenty-eight-w seeking dark meat to baste with my juicy eight inches. Let me use you like a dog, you’ll be cumming’—c-u-m-m-i-n-g, naturally—‘back for more.’”

“No one’s going undercover on this without my approval. Just continue what you’re doing; we’ll narrow down the results when Dr. Huang finishes his profile from the victims' reports.”

“You got it, Cap’n.”

Cragen returned to his office. Fin went back to the endless scroll of casual encounters ads and tried to concentrate on his job—which was not easy when John kept randomly reading aloud from his own findings.

“‘Tie me up, tie me down. I’ll be your bitch if your wife’s out of town.’ Poetic, no?”

Fin shot John his best “I’m going to kill you” look, to which John only replied with the hint of a smirk. John knew full well that Fin loved it when he talked dirty, but that was for when they were off the clock—not in the middle of the SVU squadroom. “You think it’s funny, some guy looking for sex and getting beat up 'n rolled instead?”

“No, I’m just appreciating the wit and witticisms you can find on craigslist. I don’t think our perp is especially linguistically creative, though. I’m just saving some of these for my own entertainment.”

“You’re a sick piece of work, you know that?”

“Of course. It’s in my psych profile.” John got up to refill his mug with hot water and make a cup of tea. He took a circuitous route back to his desk, stopping behind Fin’s so he could lean down and whisper in his ear, “And I know that’s what you love about me.”

“Fuck you, John.”

“Promise?”

“...Later.”