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[lex-luthorcorp.livejournal.com]

A journal based fic - Lex Luthor. Will be updated soon enough.

Title: lex_luthorcorp Journal located at --> lex_luthorcorp
Email: luthoralexander@yahoo.com
Pairing or Gen Notice: Lex L/Clark K
Rating: PG13 - NC17
Warnings: Slash M/M
Spoilers: Season 1 - 3
Note: Comments/Reviews appreciated in journal entries.

Sample Entries:

***

Sample entry: 1

Luthor Corp Fertilizer Plant No. 3, Smallville.
07:07pm
mood: predatory

Lionel Luthor has once again proven to be the best at what he does - getting rid of unnecessary setbacks - this time in the form of his only son - me.

'You're never going to get anywhere with your eyes closed'.

And I hardly do now. Everytime I close my eyes, I am brought back to the day I was given a second chance at this life. I find it to be a nightmare. And it is.

And so I arrived this morning, here in Smallville - a town I never wanted to step foot into again. Not since my first visit. Not since the incident with the fallen meteors. Not since I lost every single strand of hair on my head.

As a Luthor, I am not privileged enough to say this - but - this is by far the worse day of my life.

***

Sample Entry: 2

Riverbank, Smallville.
03:50am
mood: amused

'Come on! Don't die on me!'

I could have sworn I hit him - this young man who saved me.

I was facing death - staring at it - for the second time in my life and this teenage boy managed to pull me back from the cold grip of darkness - emptiness - loneliness.

Lionel Luthor could not have picked a better time to give his beloved son a call from Metropolis. I am now torn between either cursing him or sending him a Thank You note.

If it hadn't been for his impeccable timing as always - I would not have careened off the bridge - I would not have been given the kiss of life - I would not have met Clark Kent.

He is indeed an extraordinary boy and I meant every word I said to Jonathan Kent that afternoon - I doubt he had liked hearing it from me though. The look he gave in return could have turned the average Tom, Dick or Harry into mumbling incoherant apologies - but alas I am a Luthor.

'Luthors are not afraid. We don't have that luxury.'

Thanks for the reminder, Dad.

***

Sample Entry: 3

Luthor Manor, Smallville.
04:03am
mood: impressed

'Dear Clark. Drive safely. Always in your debt. A maniac in a Porsche.'

I got him a truck. It was the least I could do.

I was wrong.

He came by this evening as I was fencing. I was a little surprised that he had managed to find his way through - to me.

The sword I had thrown in anger had been embedded in the wall by his head - not by purpose. He had been shocked. At the time, I hardly noticed. It wasn't as if anything could hurt him.

But now, I'm thinking - why not?

And I can't answer that question because I don't know or simply because - I just know.

Clark had come by to return my gift - I was disappointed - but he gave me something in return. It wasn't anything Luthor money could buy - although my father would beg to differ.

And for the first time in my life, I was brutally honest with my feelings.

'We have a future, Clark. And I don't want anything to stand in the way of our friendship.'

He didn't say a word - didn't have to. I already knew.

In silence he had offered me his friendship. In retribution I had given him mine.

***

Sample Entry: 4

Cornfield, Smallville
08:17pm
mood: restless

Just go by. Take a little walk across the cornfield and just pass it by. See for yourself if there's a man roped across a cross tonight. You don't have to get up, close and personal.

What the hell do you think is going to happen?

I felt angry with myself. It was a thing of the past, really.

Yes, go there. You ought to. You ought to face your fears.

And there is nothing wrong with wanting to find out - who knows, maybe it would be like a welcome call.

But these were merely games I played with my mind. The man wasn't around anymore. It had been years ago.

No, I'd be going out of curiosity - that should be fine.

I should go. I should go even if I loathe everything about this small town.

Just go over there. Make the move. Maybe it is some silent memorial to that man. Don't try to put it all together. Talk of devils as a child still echoing in my ears after all this time!

'Once you've seen the man, you're done for.'

I made up my mind. I put on my black coat, adjusted my collar and white shirt front, and went out of the air-conditioned Jaguar onto the hot narrow road at the side of the cornfield.

I saw the past if I saw anything at all as I made my way fast through the fields. And then within minutes, I'd entered another world. The light from the moon was gone, and with that the dust and the din of the passing vehicles. No debilitating heat here. No drowsing scent of burnt corns and fallen debris.

I remember reading a book a while back where a young priest had said, "You start out fine, and then your clothes just get heavier and heavier." I had to laugh at that.

I walked on until I couldn't see anything else but the plantation growing around me. Like a jungle, wild and unkempt - I was surrounded.

I slowed my pace. I slowed because I really didn't want to get there. I didn't want to see him there. I didn't even want to be in this still, deserted field. Nothing stirred here but the insects, the birds, the plants themselves slowly swallowing up the light and the midnight blue of the sky. Like a breeding place of evil.

But I was out of hand with these thoughts. What had evil to do with God's earth, and the things that grew in it?

Yet I couldn't help but think of all the stories I had heard about Smallville. Yes, there was something strange about this town. I could feel it.

Then I heard the voice. A whisper at first - getting louder and louder soon after. I heard his voice just as clearly now as I heard it more than a decade ago. And I heard my own footsteps, too, as I ran from the voice, ran from him, ran from my failure to help him as a child. But no, now I was running towards the voice, running towards him, running towards a voice so familiar I ached to find out who it was.

I found him quickly enough. I was both relieved and disappointed. I felt surprise, then anger.

I had been unable to protect him - but this time I was able to save him.

Clark - it is as if he holds the key to my past - yet knows nothing about it.

***

Sample Entry: 5

The Beanery, Smallville.
09:09pm
mood: working

Clark Kent. Lana Lang. Clark Kent. Lana Lang.

Clark Kent. Lex Luthor. Same initials. Not the same person. That's too bad.

I watched in fascination, listening to their idle chat - they spoke of cheerleeding, of football, of quitting cheerleeding, of quitting football - and soon began to wonder why in hell's name I was paying attention to any of it in the first place.

Minutes passed and I was slowly losing interest.

"Lex!"

Looking up, I noticed Clark finally making his way towards me and I smiled.

We ended up in deep conversation - about Lana Lang. As I spoke of other matters, I noted the fact that he couldn't keep his eyes away from her - staring or rather lusting after the young beauty at every available opportunity - which was one too many - and oblivious to certain matters that needed to be discussed.

"Like what you see Clark?"

I figured it to be an innocent question - though the trademark smirk I wore was a different matter altogether.

Clark ended up blushing a deep crimson red - which made matters worse - I was already feeling slightly constricted - though I won't make a note as to where exactly - at this point, I would much rather avoid thinking about it.

Blinking once, then twice, he mumbled out an apology before taking a long and slow sip from the steaming cup of coffee he held in his hands - doing so purposefully to hide the fact that he was still red in the face - I noticed.

"So what was it that you were saying again? I didn't quite catch it."

I was slightly disappointed - but did not show it. Instead I surprised myself with the following sentence - "Well I'm in love with you and you shouldn't look at Lana that way." - go figure.

I thought it sounded casual enough - he didn't seem to think so. I gave out a short laugh, indicating that it was a joke - still, it didn't work. The look of shock was obviously prominent on his sharp features - I inwardly cringed, giving out an apologetic smile.

"Relax Clark. Luthor's don't bite."

Right. I made a mental note to later brush up on my dead-pan humor.

I then proceeded to inform him that I would be needing more produce than usual from the great Kent farm in the next couple of months or so and was wondering whether he could help convey the message to his father on my behalf.

"I have some matters to settle in Metropolis and won't be back in Smallville for quite some time," I continued, while deftly arranging my worksheets back into place, gathering the last minute reports that had to be handed up. "Of course it's likely that I'll be mixing business with a bit of pleasure - Victoria's in town again."

"Oh, that's...nice."

It wasn't the reaction I was hoping for - but it was good enough.

Clark took a biscotti on the plate in front of him - breaking it into two halves and offering a piece to me. I shook my head. "So when will you be back?"

"I'm not too sure, Clark. Could be a while," I answered, grabbing my jacket from the next seat.

I needed to get away from him - I needed to get some distance between us - I couldn't afford to start obsessing over a small town farmboy - and at this point I was close to the borderline of doing just that.

I left for Metropolis early that afternoon.

Later in the evening, I got a call from the Luthor Manor - Clark had dropped by to see me off.

Now all I can think of is - if only I hadn't left.

Leaving Smallville had solved nothing - it had changed nothing.

It doesn't matter though. I'll be back soon enough.