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slashthedrabble Jan. 21st, 2005 10:16 pm)
amejisuto.livejournal.com posting in slashthedrabble Jan. 21st, 2005 10:16 pm)I blame this on my flist, but mostly on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sukibluefiction. It's all her fault.
Amnesty is Granted
It was odd how the smell of polyester and cheap perfume was all he could smell now. He always got himself into these things, only this time he couldn’t go and talk to Willow about it. Couldn’t tell anyone. They already thought he was useless, a liability; if they found out he’d been used by a girl…
He’d been having nightmares since that night. He’d tried to forget, to lose himself in slaying and thinking up snappy comebacks for when Cordy used him as a whipping boy, but last night had been the last straw. Yeah, Buffy explained after the fact how Angel was only acting when he hit him, but it still hurt.
He’d skipped school. When Wills called he had said he didn’t want to be seen with a bruise, but the truth was he couldn’t face them anymore. Besides, it had been proven in the past two weeks they didn’t need him anyway.
Nightfall found him at the edge of a cliff. He had left the house, the memory of hands around his throat and the scent of despair sending him outside.
“Xander?”
Great. The one person he hated more than anything just had to show up while he contemplated eternity. On the other hand, Angel hated him, so maybe he’d give him a push. Help him get off the ground, so to speak.
“Deadboy. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Xander what are you doing?”
“The usual thing people do on the edge of a cliff. Wondering if it would hurt when you hit bottom. Hoping I’ll have a heart attack first, that sort of thing.”
“If this is about last night…”
Xander couldn’t help it, he laughed. It was a bitter, choking sound that hurt even his ears. “Last night? This is about my life, Angel. This is about being either useless or used. Don’t act like you care.”
Angel came to stand beside him and Xander couldn’t help but feel small. Angel always had that effect on him; he was a pale reflection of the handsome man beside him. A shadow. Nothing. “I do care, Xander, and so will Buffy and Willow and…”
“They don’t need me. No one ever needs me. Well, except for Faith but I guess using me was easier than finding a man-sized dildo. Last night was just the icing on my shit cake.”
Xander found himself sitting on the ground talking to a man he thought he hated. How Faith used him and threw him away, how no one ever noticed him, about how everyone thought he was useless.
And Angel talked of how Buffy needed time, even though he did as she asked. How they weren’t going to make it because Buffy always forgot he was a demon.
In the end, when dawn came he took Angel up on the offer of a bed at his place rather than face the memories alone, instead of seeing how far he could fly without wings. He only hoped the nightmares stayed away.
sukibluefiction. It's all her fault. Amnesty is Granted
It was odd how the smell of polyester and cheap perfume was all he could smell now. He always got himself into these things, only this time he couldn’t go and talk to Willow about it. Couldn’t tell anyone. They already thought he was useless, a liability; if they found out he’d been used by a girl…
He’d been having nightmares since that night. He’d tried to forget, to lose himself in slaying and thinking up snappy comebacks for when Cordy used him as a whipping boy, but last night had been the last straw. Yeah, Buffy explained after the fact how Angel was only acting when he hit him, but it still hurt.
He’d skipped school. When Wills called he had said he didn’t want to be seen with a bruise, but the truth was he couldn’t face them anymore. Besides, it had been proven in the past two weeks they didn’t need him anyway.
Nightfall found him at the edge of a cliff. He had left the house, the memory of hands around his throat and the scent of despair sending him outside.
“Xander?”
Great. The one person he hated more than anything just had to show up while he contemplated eternity. On the other hand, Angel hated him, so maybe he’d give him a push. Help him get off the ground, so to speak.
“Deadboy. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Xander what are you doing?”
“The usual thing people do on the edge of a cliff. Wondering if it would hurt when you hit bottom. Hoping I’ll have a heart attack first, that sort of thing.”
“If this is about last night…”
Xander couldn’t help it, he laughed. It was a bitter, choking sound that hurt even his ears. “Last night? This is about my life, Angel. This is about being either useless or used. Don’t act like you care.”
Angel came to stand beside him and Xander couldn’t help but feel small. Angel always had that effect on him; he was a pale reflection of the handsome man beside him. A shadow. Nothing. “I do care, Xander, and so will Buffy and Willow and…”
“They don’t need me. No one ever needs me. Well, except for Faith but I guess using me was easier than finding a man-sized dildo. Last night was just the icing on my shit cake.”
Xander found himself sitting on the ground talking to a man he thought he hated. How Faith used him and threw him away, how no one ever noticed him, about how everyone thought he was useless.
And Angel talked of how Buffy needed time, even though he did as she asked. How they weren’t going to make it because Buffy always forgot he was a demon.
In the end, when dawn came he took Angel up on the offer of a bed at his place rather than face the memories alone, instead of seeing how far he could fly without wings. He only hoped the nightmares stayed away.
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Sheesh, you want sex this early? No I must drag it out. LOL
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Have fun!
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And if you're feeling disloyal to Spike, how is Xander feeling?
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*hugs*
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...
...
...
~gives in~
Let me finish FOON and I'll write a little something. It's not like I'm lacking in bunnies! HEE!
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over 20.
Hee!!
You promised me a Xangel icon too!
MWAH!
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Oh! Xangel Icon! I'd forgotten!! Sorry, luv. Yep. I'm just working on the last scene of FOON (of the 1st draft, that is) then i'll see what I can do! If you don't hear me mention the icon within 24 hours, then it means i've forgottn again. ;o) Give me a nudge?
Hee!
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hugs
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Hugs you!
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:o)
MWAH!
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*pets Xander*
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