Angel/Wes drabble 400 words

[eloise-bright.livejournal.com]

TITLE: Appropriate Retribution
RATING: PG13
PAIRING: Angel/Wesley
NOTES: set during Lineage. What Wesley deserves...





Appropriate Retribution


“Why?”

It’s a question he already knows the answer to, but he asks it anyway. And Wesley knows the rhetoric very well; has had years of practice answering this one.

He repeats the question; his voice calm and reasonable, allowing just a hint of irritation at Wesley’s hesitation.

“I asked you why.”

“Because I made a mistake.” His voice is low; the whispered growl that is too familiar, too painful to hear.

“That’s not enough.” He hears the quickening pulse, sees the fingers tightening on the edge of the desk in anticipation.

He makes him wait.

“What did you do wrong?” And this is cruel, he knows it is; Wesley is never going to get it right, he made sure of that.

He tries, though. “I didn’t protect her. I let her get hurt. “ Shame in his voice now, but it’s still not enough. Will never be enough.

“It was a reckless decision. You were careless.” And he knows that’s not true; he’s read the frighteningly meticulous diaries Wesley doesn’t remember writing, is well aware of the long hours of research that still led to his betrayal.

Wesley nods silently and then bends his head again, waiting. A penitent man, welcoming judgment. If he had a heart it would be warmed by this sight.

“You know you need to pay.”

Sometimes he wonders how high the price should be. In his dreams he presses the pillow hard enough to send the monitor into flatline. Catches the scent of freshly spilled arterial blood as the knife wound splits anew beneath his grasp.

He snaps the belt between his hands, the sound mimicking the crack of leather on skin.

“I know.” Wesley shifts position, waiting for the first blow. “I’m sorry.”

At first he’s not sure what brings him back. Suddenly Angel opens his eyes, and Wesley is standing before him, back stiff, tense with righteous indignation.

Then he realizes. It was the apology. He knows deep down that Wesley will never apologize.

Wesley eyes him defiantly. “Your people?” There’s angry incredulity in his voice, a thousand miles from the soft tone of contrition Angel dreams he hears.

Still, he meets the angry gaze with a harshness he knows will wound him. “Got it?”

A brief nod, and Wesley turns to leave, almost, but not quite managing to hide his hurt.

Eve watches him intently.

“Kinda hard on him, weren’t you?”

Comments

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Ouch and double ouch! Very painful drabble. Well done. :o)

[eloise-bright.livejournal.com]

Thank you. There is so much unsaid in that little exchange at the beginning of Lineage. I thought it might be fun to explore that.

[lonelybrit]

Oooooh... Lovely the subtle descriptions of Wesley as he's waiting for that first blow. ANd painfully sharp how what jolts Angel out of the dream is hearing Wes apologise. So true, no matter how much he wants it, I don't think Wes will ever apologise for doing what he can't remember. Well done!

[eloise-bright.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I love this episode so much, and that scene between Wes and Angel is full of unspoken anger. Wes will never apologize; Lilah knew that, and Angel knows it too.