Mulder/Krycek (XFiles) challenge entry; 200 words

[griva-x.livejournal.com]

Hi there. My first post here. Hope some of you folks will enjoy this one.

Title: FINIS
Fandom/Pairing: The X-Files, Mulder/Krycek
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Challenge: slashthedrabble: *Endings*.



Something in me changed a while ago.

My ability to exist not depending if someone thinks of me is the same it was before those times of fiery lust and fake godliness, of pallor and blush. Many times I've thought of doing whatever I had to do to bring those times back, hoping they'd lead my way into the numbness I miss so much. Only thoughts. If I let them become more than that, I'd remember, intoxicated, every time you breathed the vice that fills my mouth.

Something changed me a while ago, and the frustration of leaving a whole era behind sometimes reduces me to tears.

Only tears. If I let them become more than that, you could forget to wound me with your tongue and swallow the escaping euphoria. I can't let you forget that, the moment you do you'll be forgetting yourself, and we'll be back in the times of empty lust and power-trips, of fighting and gore. And they will lead me, inevitably, into the numbness that hurt so much. Now dry these tears, they haven't changed. Then start a new ritual. Twist your fingers, wound my core...hard enough to make me smile.

End it.

Fox

x-posted to mk_apocrypha

Comments

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Sad and dark and delicious. :D